08.09.2020

So, I’m supposed to have started journal-ling about my day to day activities but I won’t lie, it seems like such a waste sometimes. I mean, almost everyone these days has some sort of averse reaction to the concept of school and the routine ‘torture’ it brings. I honestly cannot relate to that. I’ve always loved school. I’ve always looked forward to resumption and getting questions right and meeting all my classmate and finding out new things that the school did while we were away. Exciting stuff. Now, my life’s just bare. I can go through a whole day and the only productive thing I’d do is work out.

That’s just… shouldn’t even be called productive at this point. I’m not saying it’s not a reasonable endeavour. It’s just compared to the things that used to give me satisfaction and joy, it barely puts up a fight. Life after school is a lot of things but one word that closely...

Do you ever feel like you want your head to be rubbed?

Like… not like you’re a dog but kinda like that at the same time.

Like… you just want your significant other to put your head on their chest and just rub it and tell you you’ll be fineee or that you’ve done amazingly well.

To even be a bit more extra, he/she might add in a lullaby there just to make it more soothing.

Sounds quite beautiful and relaxing yeah?

Well, yeah… it does.

But life’s a bitchhhhh! I mean, for single people and couples and just for everyone in between (don’t ask me what’s in between lol). Recently, I’ve been single single (if you don’t know what that means, eeyah for you lol) and as true as human nature can be, I want to be everything but comfortable as I am.

There are perks of being single. I know that. I recognise most of them and I’m sure I enjoy tons of them without even realising. I know a lot of...

Hey there!

My name is Kennedy Oluchukwu Usiagwu.

I am the first born son of Mr. Echezona Usiagwu and Mrs. Eunice Usiagwu.

I am Nigerian.

I am Nigerian by birth and by conditions that were out of my control (i.e. my parents are Nigerian and gave birth to me in Nigeria) and although, I am very proud to be a Nigerian, I cannot say the same for fellow citizens.

Growing up in Nigeria can be described as listening to a song (or rather, an album) on repeat. A song of our corrupt nation led by power hungry devils whose goal is only to profit from the suffering of the masses. A song of paedophilia, rape and constant ‘hushed-tone’ talk of sex and it’s fruits which are definitely a lot more in conversations than the topic itself. A song of mass incarceration of people for no just cause, or rather, for the crime of poverty. A song of lack of gainful employment opportunities for the ‘lazy’...

Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our greatest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be beautiful, loved, smart, talented and all other amazing things we can be?’ but the right question should be ‘Who am I not to be?’ <

I first heard that quote when I was watching ‘Akeelah and the Bee’ for the third or fourth time. I can’t really tell but what I can say for sure is that the quote spoke to me. It was at a point in my life where I felt I was useless to all the people around me, that I wasn’t living up to my potential, and that I didn’t have anything anybody wanted. I felt defeated in a way, unloved and seeking attention and purpose in my life.

Honestly, I still feel that way sometimes.

Life hits you hard guys.

One day, you think you have it all figured - go to school, pass all your exams, get a bomb ass internship, impress your...

Hey there!

It’s me again, still my ever rambling self.

I haven’t written in quite a while but I’ve had these thoughts that can’t seem to leave my head so, whynot?

As you might be able to tell, I’m a very indecisive person. I constantly overthink my decisions well after the deed has been done. It’s actually a miracle that I don’t have as many regrets as I have decisions.

As a result of my knack for overthinking, I end up hating having to make decisions about anything. I mean, I can’t even decide what body lotion to get when I go shopping, what to wear out or what to order when I’m hungry.
Like literally, the worst question for you to ask me when I’m hungry is, “What do you want to eat?” I start to think of all the things I’ve eaten, stuff I haven’t tried, stuff I’ve heard only on TV. It’s a whole process… sigh

I find making decisions such a chore and it’s worse when all the...

This is one of the ideas that have been in the “works” for too long. Oh well, it’s one of the constant songs I’ve been singing so it’s not surprising to anyone that knows me.

So, let’s go back to 12 year old Kennedy sitting in Biology class. I had just transferred to a new school and had no idea what the teacher was on about. All I know is that I got stuck writing line after line of the phrase “Self control is a beautiful thing”. I’m sure you can imagine how much I hated the teacher after this but fast forward to my late teens and I finally understand why he made me do that.

At this point in my life, I am constantly faced with a barrage of choices. Let me give an example I’m sure most people can relate to. Do I go out tonight and miss my 8 am class the next day or just go to sleep and miss out on all the fun from the night before and make my class? classic university student

We have...

I’m asking myself this same question while writing this. You’ve probably heard the story of the tortoise and the hare. If you haven’t, just go check it out. It’s amazing how that story turns out to be true most of the time. Most times, we start a ‘race’ with so much excitement but along the way, we get distracted, tired or find the race too easy and we end up being unable to complete this race.

If you know me, you probably have recognised how inconsistent I am with most things. It’s tiring thinking about how many good things have fizzled out in my life because of my inability to be consistent. It has become the one thing I have to work on becoming better at.

I feel every person faces this problem at some point in their life. I have come to believe that amongst everything, success is achieved when you are truly able to stay consistent. You might say they are other values that can bring...

It’s 07.39 am and I haven’t slept for a while now. I have an exam in just over 2 hours and I’m pretty tired of reading. It’s not like I read the whole night though. I’m pretty sure I spent more time watching football videos on Instagram and catching glimpses of the Grammy’s from my friends’ Snapchat stories but let’s just say I tried my best. I can’t sleep now because we all know it’s almost impossible for me to wake up in time for my exam. I also cannot study anymore because I fear I would do more damage and end up confusing myself. Basically, all this has nothing to do with what I’m about to write… or maybe it does.

Lately, nothing much has been happening in my life. It’s the examination period aka mini-holiday of my university and therefore, there are no classes. I only leave my apartment to get food, play soccer and that’s usually about it. Yes, I’ve not gone to church for two...

Rejection hurts.

This is probably not news to anyone that is reading this but I’m going to reiterate.

Rejection hurts.

It might be the usual story of the girl saying no to your beautifully crafted and creatively imagined date proposal or the long letter from the school you’ve always wanted to go to giving you reasons you’ve not been accepted. It can also be just your mum saying you can’t break your fast because you feel sick.

It still hurts.

Really badly at times.

Currently, I’m listening to my friend rant about the innumerable choices of the male species that she has and how confusing it is for her to pick one. Unfortunately, I can’t relate. I’m currently brooding about my hard luck with women. I know it is possibly because I’m not one to usually put myself out there constantly. I’m also usually horrible at keeping in touch with people as I have a procrastination problem (I...