Journaling

08.09.2020

So, I’m supposed to have started journal-ling about my day to day activities but I won’t lie, it seems like such a waste sometimes. I mean, almost everyone these days has some sort of averse reaction to the concept of school and the routine ‘torture’ it brings. I honestly cannot relate to that. I’ve always loved school. I’ve always looked forward to resumption and getting questions right and meeting all my classmate and finding out new things that the school did while we were away. Exciting stuff. Now, my life’s just bare. I can go through a whole day and the only productive thing I’d do is work out.

That’s just… shouldn’t even be called productive at this point. I’m not saying it’s not a reasonable endeavour. It’s just compared to the things that used to give me satisfaction and joy, it barely puts up a fight. Life after school is a lot of things but one word that closely describes it is allowing. I think I just thought of that now. I’ve been describing it as uncertain but that’s not entirely true. It’s just uncertain because I probably have expectations of what I want to be doing and because, that is not available right now… I’m stuck in this limbo where I’m questioning everything I’ve done till this point.

As a firm believer of all things working together for good, I know it will all work out eventually. I just have to trust and pray and let God do his thing while I keep on doing the work I need to do. And that’s the thing. What’s the work I need to do?

It’s not like school where you have a timetable that’s been deliberated upon by trained professionals and properly portioned to make sure you are able to acquire all the necessary information you need to. Here, you make your own rules. Life after school allows you to succeed and also, to mess up. Big time. It’s crazy how much you can do compared to how much you actually do. Especially when there’s an added constraint of lack of money… it brings with it an urgency for you to find something that’ll not only match your interest, skills and desire but also be a profitable endeavour… oh and not to forget, that’ll also hire you (he he he). It’s so fun. (nope).

Anyways, I have to stop here.

I promise to be doing this everyday because it helps me let my thoughts out. My fingers were just flowing over the keyboard. I have so much to sayyy but I’ll just leave it at this. Find your desire and go hard!

Bye!